AL last Friday, MC yesterday. I have been having 4-day weeks for 2 weeks, excluding the short CNY week end Jan. Probably M noticed that the workload has been too much for me to handle. He finally took traffic off my care but i still believe that it wasnt my behaviour and his judgement alone that led to this decision.
It doesnt feel good when people keep doubting your abilities. It makes it seem like one is incompetent. It is especially worst to know that the incompetent guy is being treated like their IDOL.. someone whom they all look upon to. Though the fact is - the late nights were but all caused by the same 2-headed-snake guy.
I believe N and some of the rest are rejoicing still, cause they finally can turn to their IDOL and M for traffic matters. I just hope the 'think you better double check with C' thing will end from N. It has really gotten to my nerves and takes a loong long time now for me to cool down. Week after week since after CNY i hear and see this sentence from HER.
I doubt the talk with M actually helped. Cause apparently though he said he has the same sentiments as me, of not liking the drinking sessions IN the office, DURING office hours and roudy behaviour AFTER office hours IN the office, he didnt warn them and tell them about it although he said he would. I really REALLY should have known. I wasted my Monday morning on the talk. I thought he cared about my 2 cents worth of feedbacks. I thought he valued me as an employee.
One of my interviewers yesterday shared some of his honest thoughts and opinions about me. I am grateful to talk to him. It is always good to hear from someone else. A stranger perhaps, but you know that person has been there, done that; or has had so many experiences in life and a fair share of politics and sort. That 2-hr long interview and chatting session was helpful to me, personally and of cause my thoughts about work and colleagues.
There are just too many differences between man. And we are not really true human, so to speak. Hence we are unable to forgive those who have sinned against us or have betrayed us. It is really difficult to live a life like GOD or the Saint. They, who are truely human and forgives others.
I seek for peace and strength to bull doze through this.
